The Navigator

Posts Tagged ‘transformation’

Here is an article I published in one of my newsletters a while back that I got so much positive feedback on, I wanted to share it again.

I am Powerful Article

There is nothing as incredible as feeling powerful and in control of your own life!  However, you are not alone if you have ever felt like you give your power away to others and you don’t know what to do about it.
Here are some signs you may be giving away your power to others:
•    You doubt yourself.
•    You try to make everyone else happy.
•    You go along with others to avoid making waves.
•    You look for approval from others instead of from within.
•    You buy into other people’s drama.
•    You allow yourself to be intimidated.
•    You have poor boundaries.
Any of this sound familiar to you?  It does to me.  I doubt myself.  I look for approval from others.  So why do I do this?  There are many reasons we give our power away.  It might be a habit.  It might be the way we were raised.  We might be afraid of confrontation.  Maybe it feels good in the moment to take care of someone.  What happens when we focus only on that one little moment in time instead of considering the long term impact?
Each time we give our power away, we sell a little bit of our soul.  Over time this adds up.  Even if it feels good in that moment, the price is quite  high.    The good news is we can learn to be powerful, to be in control of our life.   Here are some suggestions:
•    Remember to breathe.
•    Practice staying in your own energy, space, etc.
•    Learn to say “no” and mean it.
•    See yourself as a whole being, with all the right answers.
•    Use your anger wisely and stand up for yourself.  Anger isn’t always bad – just use it wisely.
•    Ask for what you want and need.
•    Realize that other people have their own path and you are not responsible for them.
•    Remember that someone else’s behavior almost never has anything to do with you.  Practice just observing it without any attachments.
When we choose to live our life from a place of strength and trust, when we are living authentically it means we have the courage to show up as our true self.  It doesn’t mean being rude or inconsiderate.  It does mean speaking our truth and believing in who we are at our very core.

Today I choose to be my authentic self.  Today I will not apologize for that.  Today I choose to be powerful and it feels really great!

Today I hope you’ll choose to be your authentic self.  Today I hope you will not apologize for it.  Today I hope you will choose to be powerful and it will feel really great!

I think I’ve posted this in the past but it’s been a while and always a good one to reflect on:

You have been telling the people that this is the 11th hour.
Now you must go back and tell the people that this is The Hour.

And there are things to be considered…

Where are you living?
What are you doing?
Where are your relationships?
Are you in right relation?
Where is your water?
Know your garden.

It is time to speak your Truth.

Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside of yourself for the leader.

Then he clasped his hands together, smiled, and said,

This could be a good time!

There is a river flowing now very fast.
It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.
They will try to hold onto the shore.
They will feel that they are being torn apart and will suffer greatly.

Know the river has its destination.

The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river
Keep our eyes open and our heads above the water.

And I say, see who is in there with you and celebrate.

At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally, least of all, ourselves.
For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

The time of the lone wolf is over.
Gather yourselves!

Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary.

All that we do must now be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

Yesterday, I found myself reflecting on particularly one past experience that was on the top of my mind because of some other things going on around me.  A year and a half ago, a very good friend just cut me out of her life quite abruptly and was extremely angry with me but wouldn’t tell me why.  We weren’t as close at that point as we once had been and I was ok with the friendship not being there at that point and yet still really hurt by how she did what she did.

I’ve always thought relationships ebb and flow.  She and I had many conversations about that, in fact.  For someone after 10 years of friendship and after all we’d been through to treat me the way she treated me brought me a lot of pain.  I knew that her actions were more about where she was at in her life than they were about me but it still really hurt me.

For the past year and a half, I have gone through a lot of emotions around this.  Most of the time I feel blessed and at peace because I see the gifts in it.  We aren’t in the same place in our lives any more and relationships often shift when that happens.  They need to shift so we can continue to move along our desired path at the rate we are ready to move.  There have also been times when I have cried about how much it hurt to be rejected that way.  It felt so good to get those emotions out and acknowledge them.

Because of all these things that have been happening around me which relate both to the last job I had and my past friend, I found myself thinking about it all again.  There was pain for me in my last job for a lot of reasons and I don’t feel that pain so much any more and see all the gifts it brought to me but I’ve been gone from there for 2 and 1/2 years.  Interestingly, it was actually around the time the pain started to go away for me that the friendship ended.

So after much reflection and a conversation with a dear friend, I decided to ask the question on Facebook.  Do we ever fully stop feeling the pain a situation can bring and just become content with the gifts?  I was touched and amazed at the stories shared there of loss, of suffering, of hurt and how they moved on from it.  I think we probably all have a story about a time we were hurt and the question is, how much does it affect your life today?  How have you chosen to move forward (or have you moved forward)?

Even though I still feel the pain sometimes, I have moved forward.  I have a full life with great friends that support me.  I am more compassionate because of my personal pain.  My family is closer and I get to do what I love every day.  This I can be grateful for.

Thank you to all of you who shared their stories.  What a great group of strong individuals we all our:)

To most I hide it well.  People don’t know that I don’t really like to be seen.  Often, I’m not even aware of my choices myself and how they keep me hidden away from view.  Safe and content, not in a position to be hurt by others.  When I have done well in various areas of my life, I have lost relationships because they didn’t like it.  I know for some that might be hard to imagine but I guess I haven’t always made the best choices in friends.  And really, can we call those kind of relationships “friendships”?  I don’t think so.  Consciously, I’m aware of this and consciously, I still hear those nasty words from my upbringing about not doing things well enough, not working hard enough, not being good enough which reinforce what I have experienced from so-called friends. 

In some ways it seems odd to me that someone would leave me, abandon me, because I’m doing well or get a great opportunity in my life but jealousy is a powerful thing.  Unhappiness is a powerful thing.  I’ve made choices myself from these places that I would not have otherwise made.  So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I understand.  Understand, yes, but it doesn’t make it easier to have people leave.  It has unfortunately created the belief “If I’m too successful, I will be alone.  Everyone will leave me.  They always do.”  Not a belief I choose to continue to have.

So here I am today.  I’ve done healing work around this belief and now it’s time to bring in the “act as if” as I call it.  This is the piece that I often think is missing in the healing journey for people.  We heal some aspect of our being but continue to live as if we are still a victim, still carry a belief, still don’t feel worthy.  What would happen if we acted as if we were no longer a victim, no longer carried that negative belief, felt worthy beyond imagination?   What would be possible??  Or perhaps an easier question…what wouldn’t be possible?  The answer?  Nothing.   Everything would be possible!

So back to today, the first of many risks I hope.  The first of many acting as if it safe to be seen, acting as if it’s ok to take advantage of opportunities that come into my life, acting as if everyone who cares about me will be happy for me.  Today, I had the opportunity to be a part of the production of an upcoming commercial due to air in January for Minnesota School of Business and Globe University and I jumped on the chance.  I spent the morning down in their production studio behind big, hot lights talking about the things I really enjoy about school.  It was so much fun!  I was hardly aware of all the lights and cameras as I shared from my heart what I love most.  Deep in the back of my mind, I knew I was doing something that would become a part of something bigger soon.  A commercial to air on TV beyond the boundaries of my home, of Elk River, of even Minnesota.  How’s that for choosing to be seen today?!

We are all supposed to get a copy when the piece is edited and I will definitely share with everyone.  I’m done hiding.  I’m ready to live as if I love to be seen, love to be in the limelight and I’m not worried about what relationship will come to an end because of it.  Wish me luck…and join me if you like.  How would you live today if you are living as if you are not a victim, your life is not filled with drama, you are worthy, you do enough because you are enough or whatever other poison thought have slowly crept into your psyche over the years?  What thought or belief are you willing to give up so you can live your best life possible starting now?

How do you show up every day – as the real you or someone else?  Take the quiz below and see how happy you are with your “real self”.   Just check the statements that apply to you and then total them up  when you’re done!

_____  I am happy with who I am, I don’t concern myself with what others think.
_____  I accept my flaws, with gratitude.
_____  I use my strengths and surround myself with others who are great at things I’m not.
_____  I feel like my life is easy, fun, and a genuine expression of who I really am.
_____  I don’t have to impress anyone but me.
_____  I take care of my body, and I’m generally happy with the way I look.
_____  I am able to see the greatness that I already have, but I’m not trying to impress everyone with it.
_____  I use simple English instead of trying to impress people with my vocabulary.
_____  I see things as they are, not through someone else’s opinion.
_____  I have let go of wanting myself to be a certain way. I like who I am.
_____  I am beautiful/handsome.
_____  I always tell the truth.
_____  I have let go of wanting other people to be or act a certain way.
_____  I am living my life, not the life that someone else designed for me or expected of me.
_____  I don’t have any habits that I try to hide from other people.
_____  I am not perfect, and that’s ok.
_____  I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not, just to suit other people.
_____  There is nothing about my life that I am ashamed of.
_____  I respect other’s rules and beliefs, even if they seem unusual or confusing to me.
_____  My actions match my words, For example, I don’t condemn a musician for his lyrics, then go buy his  CDs.
_____  I am my own best friend.
_____  I am able to laugh at life.
_____  I cooperate with life; I don’t fight what’s been given to me.
_____  I am fully responsible for how my weaknesses may affect me, my life, and those around me.
_____  I have fully accepted both my talents and my faults.

Results 
0-5: You only get one chance at life.  Make the most of it.  How can you be more true to yourself? 

5-10: What if “being authentic” was more a part of your life?  How would your life be different? 

11-15: Not too shabby!  This is a great start and what you can you shift in your life to be more accepting of who you really are? 

16-20: Great!  You’re doing a wonderful job of being yourself.  Sometimes this may be less comfortable for you.  Overall, though, you’re doing well.

21-25: Fabulous!  You are definitely comfortable with yourself and you know how important this is for others around you.  Congratulations!

Are you ready to be your authentic self?  Are you ready to show the world who you really are?  Life will be so much easier, more fun because it becomes an expression of who you are.  So what’s holding you back?  If you are ready, try setting goals for yourself to allow your real feelings and desires to emerge.  You can do it!

Source Unknown

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah and Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.  And, there on television, she said it was ‘exciting…’  Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day….like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.  The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!

Maya Angelou said this:

‘I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.’

‘I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.’

‘I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.’

‘I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as ‘making a life.’

‘I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.’

‘I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back….’

‘I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.’

‘I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one..’

‘I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.’

‘I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn..”I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel..’

Enough said

A few days ago my daughter was watching something on TV.  When it was over, she left the room but didn’t turn off the TV.  I wasn’t really paying attention as I was deep into whatever I was working on at the time.  After a while I happened to notice that Spongebob was on.  Years ago I used to occasionally watch this with my daughter but hadn’t seen it in years so forgive me if I get my characters wrong.

In this episode, Plankton was trying to get Spongebob to make Crabby Patties for him.  Where I took notice was when Spongebob was explaining that the environment didn’t feel right for him to cook.  He told Plankton that he was used to cooking on a certain kind of stove so Plankton got him the stove.  Spongebob was so excited but found that he still couldn’t cook the Crabby Patties.  He told Plankton that he was used to cooking in a certain area of the room so Plankton offered to move the stove for him.  This little guy began to push the big stove around the room, following Spongebob’s lead and direction.  He ended up right back where he started, but much more sweaty and out of breath.

I went back to what I was working on but a little while later, I looked up at the TV and saw that Plankton had re-created the exact kitchen that Spongebob was used to cooking in and yet, still Spongebob couldn’t seem to cook the Crabby Patties.

How often in life do you find yourself looking outside for the answers?  How often do you find yourself saying “if only….”?  How many times do you feel like the conditions are not quite right – that something is off?

I don’t know what happened in the rest of the episode of Spongebob but what I do know is he really didn’t want to cook those Crabby Patties and he was looking for reasons outside of himself as to why – things for Plankton to “fix”.  The beauty is, he had the answers inside all along.

Much like Spongebob, you have all the answers you need inside.  If you spend all your time searching outside for them, you will NEVER find them.  Spend some time today going within.  Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and ask what is it you need to know today.  Then take action.

Let me know what comes up for you…

Make it a wonderful day!

by Orion Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
for your dreams,
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic,
or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you’re telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself,
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when its not pretty every day,
and if you can source your life from God’s presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
and still stand on the edge of a lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone,
and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you are,
how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the Fire with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,
and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Encarta defines wealth as “an abundance or great quantity of something”.

Many of us automatically jump to the thought of money when we hear the word wealth.  I know I do. Or at least I did.  When my friend, Cathy, and I decided to co-facilitate a Commanding Wealth Circle I struggled with the name because I didn’t want people to think it was all about money.  Yes, money is a part of it.  We need it to live and enjoy some of life’s pleasures (although many pleasures are free).  I actually pulled out the dictionary as I was creating flyers for the group.  That’s when I saw how expansive the word “wealth” can be.  It’s just how we choose to define it for ourselves.

I am reminded of a story I heard once about a “wealthy” man and his son.  The man wanted to teach his son how lucky he was and thought he could do this by showing the son how poor people live.  They went to the country and spent some time on a farm with a family that would be considered quite poor.

At the end of the trip, the father asked his son what he thought.  The son had a great time and told his father that what he learned was this:

• They have one dog and the family had four.
• They have a pool and the family has a creek that goes on forever.
• They have lanterns in their garden and the family has stars in the sky.
• They have a piece of land and the family has fields that go farther than the eye can see.
• They buy their food and the family grows their own.
• They have walls to protect them and the family has friends.

The son then said to his father, “Thank you for showing me how poor we are.”

It’s all perspective.  Everything in life is that way.  We get to choose how we want to define everything in our world.  It’s both a blessing and curse – depending on your perspective.  Which will you choose?

For more information on the Commanding Wealth Circles, visit our website.