The Navigator

Posts Tagged ‘happiness’

I thought you might enjoy this article I found:

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Elizabeth-Gilbert-on-Failure-and-Living-Well

Here is an article I published in one of my newsletters a while back that I got so much positive feedback on, I wanted to share it again.

I am Powerful Article

There is nothing as incredible as feeling powerful and in control of your own life!  However, you are not alone if you have ever felt like you give your power away to others and you don’t know what to do about it.
Here are some signs you may be giving away your power to others:
•    You doubt yourself.
•    You try to make everyone else happy.
•    You go along with others to avoid making waves.
•    You look for approval from others instead of from within.
•    You buy into other people’s drama.
•    You allow yourself to be intimidated.
•    You have poor boundaries.
Any of this sound familiar to you?  It does to me.  I doubt myself.  I look for approval from others.  So why do I do this?  There are many reasons we give our power away.  It might be a habit.  It might be the way we were raised.  We might be afraid of confrontation.  Maybe it feels good in the moment to take care of someone.  What happens when we focus only on that one little moment in time instead of considering the long term impact?
Each time we give our power away, we sell a little bit of our soul.  Over time this adds up.  Even if it feels good in that moment, the price is quite  high.    The good news is we can learn to be powerful, to be in control of our life.   Here are some suggestions:
•    Remember to breathe.
•    Practice staying in your own energy, space, etc.
•    Learn to say “no” and mean it.
•    See yourself as a whole being, with all the right answers.
•    Use your anger wisely and stand up for yourself.  Anger isn’t always bad – just use it wisely.
•    Ask for what you want and need.
•    Realize that other people have their own path and you are not responsible for them.
•    Remember that someone else’s behavior almost never has anything to do with you.  Practice just observing it without any attachments.
When we choose to live our life from a place of strength and trust, when we are living authentically it means we have the courage to show up as our true self.  It doesn’t mean being rude or inconsiderate.  It does mean speaking our truth and believing in who we are at our very core.

Today I choose to be my authentic self.  Today I will not apologize for that.  Today I choose to be powerful and it feels really great!

Today I hope you’ll choose to be your authentic self.  Today I hope you will not apologize for it.  Today I hope you will choose to be powerful and it will feel really great!

I can’t believe how fast time flies.  I’ve got too much going on I think but thought I would take a minute to catch up.

I’m in the process of moving my website to a new program and hosting site.  I am really excited about the new options available on this new system and can’t wait to share it with everyone.  It has things like alternating content, the weather, quotes, a calendar, newsletter and you can import your wordpress blog right into your site.  I haven’t decided if I’m going to do that last one since I’ve had this on it’s own for quite a while but we’ll see.  Right now I just need to worry about getting all the content over.

I’m also switching my newsletter manager away from Constant Contact.  I have no complaints about Constant Contact – it’s a great program and their customer service is also great.  I have just found another one that has more options and is easily integrated with an event management system, a survey program and social media.  This will make it so much easier to get things done and they’ll take less time!

I’ve finished my second quarter of school which was a lot tougher than the first – many of you have heard me comment on that!  This is definitely an example of “be careful what you wish for”.  I thought the first quarter was too easy and was worried it would feel like that the whole program and I wouldn’t feel like I’d “earned” my degree.  I know that doesn’t make any sense.  It’s a belief I’ve been working on for a long time that I just haven’t seemed to clear completely yet.  It’s that nasty belief of “I have to work hard to get anywhere”.  Do you have this one?  (Thanks Mom and Dad)  Now, I’m just moving along like Goldilocks, looking for the “just right” option.

As many of you also know, my oldest daughter moved out a couple of months ago.  We’ve done a lot of painting upstairs and down and began to make the entire house our own.  It’s been fun getting to do some redecorating.  My favorites are the new paint in the stairway going downstairs and the hall at the foot of the stairs because it makes it so much brighter in an area that is kind of dark AND the paint in the upstairs bathroom – also much brighter and cheerier.  It’s the simple things, isn’t it?

My youngest, Kayla, off with a friend shopping today is starting drivers ed in a week.  I can’t believe she’ll be driving soon.  She keeps asking about driving my car…I am such a nervous passenger as it is…I don’t care what car she drives but I can’t be in the vehicle.  I know that much.  I would not be helpful in her learning process.  I don’t think I rode in the car with my older daughter for years after she got her license.  Thank God for husbands and siblings.

We had a great Christmas.  New tradition of fonduing was great.  We had way too much food but it was all so good.  One of the favorites was the shrimp cooked in the broth.  It had this incredible flavor.  I’ve made notes for next year and bought a few things yesterday so we could do it on a smaller scale more often.  The oil and the broth both heat up so fast and it’s a fun way to cook and eat.

Lastly for today, my desk is in my new home office, ready to go.  I have a lot of bins to go through to get things organized and a couple of things to get out of storage to make it complete but it feels good, I love the paint color and I’m excited to start working in there finally.  I know that having a nice work space will be a big help in staying organized and getting some thing complete like the 2 eBooks I’ve had almost done for most of the year (LOL) among other things.

I am really looking forward to 2010 and all it has to offer each of us.  Enjoy what’s left of the 2009!

To most I hide it well.  People don’t know that I don’t really like to be seen.  Often, I’m not even aware of my choices myself and how they keep me hidden away from view.  Safe and content, not in a position to be hurt by others.  When I have done well in various areas of my life, I have lost relationships because they didn’t like it.  I know for some that might be hard to imagine but I guess I haven’t always made the best choices in friends.  And really, can we call those kind of relationships “friendships”?  I don’t think so.  Consciously, I’m aware of this and consciously, I still hear those nasty words from my upbringing about not doing things well enough, not working hard enough, not being good enough which reinforce what I have experienced from so-called friends. 

In some ways it seems odd to me that someone would leave me, abandon me, because I’m doing well or get a great opportunity in my life but jealousy is a powerful thing.  Unhappiness is a powerful thing.  I’ve made choices myself from these places that I would not have otherwise made.  So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I understand.  Understand, yes, but it doesn’t make it easier to have people leave.  It has unfortunately created the belief “If I’m too successful, I will be alone.  Everyone will leave me.  They always do.”  Not a belief I choose to continue to have.

So here I am today.  I’ve done healing work around this belief and now it’s time to bring in the “act as if” as I call it.  This is the piece that I often think is missing in the healing journey for people.  We heal some aspect of our being but continue to live as if we are still a victim, still carry a belief, still don’t feel worthy.  What would happen if we acted as if we were no longer a victim, no longer carried that negative belief, felt worthy beyond imagination?   What would be possible??  Or perhaps an easier question…what wouldn’t be possible?  The answer?  Nothing.   Everything would be possible!

So back to today, the first of many risks I hope.  The first of many acting as if it safe to be seen, acting as if it’s ok to take advantage of opportunities that come into my life, acting as if everyone who cares about me will be happy for me.  Today, I had the opportunity to be a part of the production of an upcoming commercial due to air in January for Minnesota School of Business and Globe University and I jumped on the chance.  I spent the morning down in their production studio behind big, hot lights talking about the things I really enjoy about school.  It was so much fun!  I was hardly aware of all the lights and cameras as I shared from my heart what I love most.  Deep in the back of my mind, I knew I was doing something that would become a part of something bigger soon.  A commercial to air on TV beyond the boundaries of my home, of Elk River, of even Minnesota.  How’s that for choosing to be seen today?!

We are all supposed to get a copy when the piece is edited and I will definitely share with everyone.  I’m done hiding.  I’m ready to live as if I love to be seen, love to be in the limelight and I’m not worried about what relationship will come to an end because of it.  Wish me luck…and join me if you like.  How would you live today if you are living as if you are not a victim, your life is not filled with drama, you are worthy, you do enough because you are enough or whatever other poison thought have slowly crept into your psyche over the years?  What thought or belief are you willing to give up so you can live your best life possible starting now?

I just shared in my newsletter how inspired I am by Ellen and her philosophy of “have a little fun today…give a little love away”.  Who inspires you and why?

How do you show up every day – as the real you or someone else?  Take the quiz below and see how happy you are with your “real self”.   Just check the statements that apply to you and then total them up  when you’re done!

_____  I am happy with who I am, I don’t concern myself with what others think.
_____  I accept my flaws, with gratitude.
_____  I use my strengths and surround myself with others who are great at things I’m not.
_____  I feel like my life is easy, fun, and a genuine expression of who I really am.
_____  I don’t have to impress anyone but me.
_____  I take care of my body, and I’m generally happy with the way I look.
_____  I am able to see the greatness that I already have, but I’m not trying to impress everyone with it.
_____  I use simple English instead of trying to impress people with my vocabulary.
_____  I see things as they are, not through someone else’s opinion.
_____  I have let go of wanting myself to be a certain way. I like who I am.
_____  I am beautiful/handsome.
_____  I always tell the truth.
_____  I have let go of wanting other people to be or act a certain way.
_____  I am living my life, not the life that someone else designed for me or expected of me.
_____  I don’t have any habits that I try to hide from other people.
_____  I am not perfect, and that’s ok.
_____  I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not, just to suit other people.
_____  There is nothing about my life that I am ashamed of.
_____  I respect other’s rules and beliefs, even if they seem unusual or confusing to me.
_____  My actions match my words, For example, I don’t condemn a musician for his lyrics, then go buy his  CDs.
_____  I am my own best friend.
_____  I am able to laugh at life.
_____  I cooperate with life; I don’t fight what’s been given to me.
_____  I am fully responsible for how my weaknesses may affect me, my life, and those around me.
_____  I have fully accepted both my talents and my faults.

Results 
0-5: You only get one chance at life.  Make the most of it.  How can you be more true to yourself? 

5-10: What if “being authentic” was more a part of your life?  How would your life be different? 

11-15: Not too shabby!  This is a great start and what you can you shift in your life to be more accepting of who you really are? 

16-20: Great!  You’re doing a wonderful job of being yourself.  Sometimes this may be less comfortable for you.  Overall, though, you’re doing well.

21-25: Fabulous!  You are definitely comfortable with yourself and you know how important this is for others around you.  Congratulations!

Are you ready to be your authentic self?  Are you ready to show the world who you really are?  Life will be so much easier, more fun because it becomes an expression of who you are.  So what’s holding you back?  If you are ready, try setting goals for yourself to allow your real feelings and desires to emerge.  You can do it!

Source Unknown

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah and Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.  And, there on television, she said it was ‘exciting…’  Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day….like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.  The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!

Maya Angelou said this:

‘I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.’

‘I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.’

‘I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.’

‘I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as ‘making a life.’

‘I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.’

‘I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back….’

‘I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.’

‘I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one..’

‘I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.’

‘I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn..”I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel..’

Enough said

by Orion Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
for your dreams,
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic,
or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you’re telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself,
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when its not pretty every day,
and if you can source your life from God’s presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
and still stand on the edge of a lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone,
and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you are,
how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the Fire with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,
and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Laughter is very healing. Here are 85 comedians Mashable recommends on Twitter!

http://mashable.com/2009/05/26/twitter-comedians/

This was my message from the Universe today thanks to www.tut.com.  Thank you, Julie Geigle, for sharing this site with me.  It was really nice to get such an encouraging message in my inbox today.  I think this is a great tool to share with your friends and clients.

My wish for you, Michele, is that you succeed beyond your wildest imagination. That you find love in places that astound you. And that you have friends who call you “just because.” I dream that you go barefoot more than you wear shoes. That you play as hard as you work. And that you laugh more than you cry. I want you to set the bar high, but not too high. To reach for the stars, but with your toes on the ground. And to never, ever stop dreaming. But most of all, Michele, I wish for your happiness.