In some ways it seems odd to me that someone would leave me, abandon me, because I’m doing well or get a great opportunity in my life but jealousy is a powerful thing.  Unhappiness is a powerful thing.  I’ve made choices myself from these places that I would not have otherwise made.  So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I understand.  Understand, yes, but it doesn’t make it easier to have people leave.  It has unfortunately created the belief “If I’m too successful, I will be alone.  Everyone will leave me.  They always do.”  Not a belief I choose to continue to have.

So here I am today.  I’ve done healing work around this belief and now it’s time to bring in the “act as if” as I call it.  This is the piece that I often think is missing in the healing journey for people.  We heal some aspect of our being but continue to live as if we are still a victim, still carry a belief, still don’t feel worthy.  What would happen if we acted as if we were no longer a victim, no longer carried that negative belief, felt worthy beyond imagination?   What would be possible??  Or perhaps an easier question…what wouldn’t be possible?  The answer?  Nothing.   Everything would be possible!

So back to today, the first of many risks I hope.  The first of many acting as if it safe to be seen, acting as if it’s ok to take advantage of opportunities that come into my life, acting as if everyone who cares about me will be happy for me.  Today, I had the opportunity to be a part of the production of an upcoming commercial due to air in January for Minnesota School of Business and Globe University and I jumped on the chance.  I spent the morning down in their production studio behind big, hot lights talking about the things I really enjoy about school.  It was so much fun!  I was hardly aware of all the lights and cameras as I shared from my heart what I love most.  Deep in the back of my mind, I knew I was doing something that would become a part of something bigger soon.  A commercial to air on TV beyond the boundaries of my home, of Elk River, of even Minnesota.  How’s that for choosing to be seen today?!

We are all supposed to get a copy when the piece is edited and I will definitely share with everyone.  I’m done hiding.  I’m ready to live as if I love to be seen, love to be in the limelight and I’m not worried about what relationship will come to an end because of it.  Wish me luck…and join me if you like.  How would you live today if you are living as if you are not a victim, your life is not filled with drama, you are worthy, you do enough because you are enough or whatever other poison thought have slowly crept into your psyche over the years?  What thought or belief are you willing to give up so you can live your best life possible starting now?

Have you ever wished you had more confidence in any area of your life?  Your job? Relationships?  Intuitive living?  I know I’ve been saying for years that I wish I had more confidence in all of those areas and more.  I’ve wondered why I didn’t have more and I’ve wondered what my life would look like if I did have it.  I’ve played the “if onlys” over and over in my mind.

Finally, after tiring of seeing little change, I decided it was time to get out there and start doing things.  I realized that things weren’t going to change on their own.  One of the areas I looked at was my job.  Although there were many things I enjoyed about my job, I didn’t really feel passionate about it any more and felt like there was another direction I’d like to go.  One day I just took the afternoon off and went out looking for office space in the community.  As luck would have it, I found a perfect space that I could afford.  Then I joined the Chamber and before I opened my doors, I had my first official client call to schedule an appointment.  Things just grew from there. 

I realized that every time I took a risk, I gained confidence!  And not just in the area I took the risk (for example, my job) but in every area of my life.  Even though I’ve heard for most of my life that practice will do that for you, this was different for me.  It wasn’t really practicing as much as just going outside of my comfort zone to achieve the things I want. 

Rhonda Britten, author, calls this stretch, risk or die.  Imagine a bullseye and the middle of it is your comfort zone.  The next ring out is the stretch zone, the next one is the risk zone, and the furthest one out is the die zone.  Stretching is something you’ve been avoiding but isn’t really that hard to do.  The risk zone is when you doing something that is scary for you and if you do it; it will probably change your life.  The die zone is where you do something that is so scary, you feel like a part of you is going to die.   As you visit the outer edges of your bullseye, you will be able watch your life change before your very eyes.   

I invite you to take a look at an area of your life you’d really like to change.  Come up with two stretches, two risks, and a die.  Start with the stretches and go through each item on your list.  As you do, acknowledge each one proudly, no matter how small it may seem.  Each time it will get easier and easier and you will feel your confidence begin to grow. 

To have the life you desire you must move out of your comfort zone and into the stretch, risk, AND die zones.  Know that you are worth it!  Today’s your day!  Make it count!

Charles B. Newcomb

Which voice will you listen to?

Everything that goes on in your life is there because it fills a need you have inside. Every poor relationships, addiction, anger, or what ever there is that is creating a problem fills a need. I think once you’ve realized something isn’t working, the next step is to realize that you’re resistant to change if that’s the case. I think another important step is not beating yourself up because of resistance you’ve felt in the past. Today is a new day and you can make the choice to move forward. You can tell yourself that you are ready to change. Ready to give up the resistance. Ready to move forward with your life. You can let go of the past and start new today.

I recommend beginning with an affirmation like “I am willing to change” or “I am ready to change”. Something that resonates for you. Notice what comes up for you now. Notice if you have any tightness in your throat. Your throat is the center were many changes began. If this occurs, try placing your hand on the front of your throat as you say the affirmations. You may also want to try an affirmation like “I am ready to consider changing”. That may feel safer for you. An affirmation is just a shift in energy and I believe that affirmations can really support us as we move forward. Sometimes all it takes is a shift in our energy to get us moving in the right direction.

Another important step for many of us is to have a good support group. That might be friends or family. Someone or a group of people that can help hold you accountable as well as provide support as you move forward. Who do you have in your life that is willing to support you in change? in making changes for your wellbeing? Another option is to find a group outside of your circle of friends and family. Sometimes it easier to begin with a group of people you don’t know really well as you begin this process because it can be scary. I also recommend Louise Hay and her book “You can Heal your Life”. This book has great tools. It can help you create a strong foundation for creating the life you want and the life you deserve.

I will be offering four workshops, approximately one per month, this summer guiding you through the book “You can Heal your Life”. My goal for these workshops is to provide you with some ongoing support as you move through the book at your own pace. Each workshop will cover a few chapters at a time, providing some direction and clarity as you go. During the month you will move through those chapters at a pace that’s comfortable for you. If questions come up, I encourage participants to e-mail each other and myself as a way of getting additional support. Early in the fall, we will come together one last time to check in with each other and celebrate the progress everyone has made. Each small step towards a brighter future is more important to me than the great big achievement in the end. If all we ever look at is the big one at the end, there isn’t much to keep us going along the way. The beauty is in the process and acknowledging ourselves every step of the way, no matter how small it seems, will keep us going. It will give us the hope and the energy to continue looking ahead. I look forward to supporting you on a journey of self-realization and growth. My wish for everyone is to enjoy life and to find happiness. Let’s work together on this common goal. For more information on the workshops, please see our calendar of events at www.infinitelightmn.com.