In some ways it seems odd to me that someone would leave me, abandon me, because I’m doing well or get a great opportunity in my life but jealousy is a powerful thing.  Unhappiness is a powerful thing.  I’ve made choices myself from these places that I would not have otherwise made.  So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I understand.  Understand, yes, but it doesn’t make it easier to have people leave.  It has unfortunately created the belief “If I’m too successful, I will be alone.  Everyone will leave me.  They always do.”  Not a belief I choose to continue to have.

So here I am today.  I’ve done healing work around this belief and now it’s time to bring in the “act as if” as I call it.  This is the piece that I often think is missing in the healing journey for people.  We heal some aspect of our being but continue to live as if we are still a victim, still carry a belief, still don’t feel worthy.  What would happen if we acted as if we were no longer a victim, no longer carried that negative belief, felt worthy beyond imagination?   What would be possible??  Or perhaps an easier question…what wouldn’t be possible?  The answer?  Nothing.   Everything would be possible!

So back to today, the first of many risks I hope.  The first of many acting as if it safe to be seen, acting as if it’s ok to take advantage of opportunities that come into my life, acting as if everyone who cares about me will be happy for me.  Today, I had the opportunity to be a part of the production of an upcoming commercial due to air in January for Minnesota School of Business and Globe University and I jumped on the chance.  I spent the morning down in their production studio behind big, hot lights talking about the things I really enjoy about school.  It was so much fun!  I was hardly aware of all the lights and cameras as I shared from my heart what I love most.  Deep in the back of my mind, I knew I was doing something that would become a part of something bigger soon.  A commercial to air on TV beyond the boundaries of my home, of Elk River, of even Minnesota.  How’s that for choosing to be seen today?!

We are all supposed to get a copy when the piece is edited and I will definitely share with everyone.  I’m done hiding.  I’m ready to live as if I love to be seen, love to be in the limelight and I’m not worried about what relationship will come to an end because of it.  Wish me luck…and join me if you like.  How would you live today if you are living as if you are not a victim, your life is not filled with drama, you are worthy, you do enough because you are enough or whatever other poison thought have slowly crept into your psyche over the years?  What thought or belief are you willing to give up so you can live your best life possible starting now?

Have you ever wished you had more confidence in any area of your life?  Your job? Relationships?  Intuitive living?  I know I’ve been saying for years that I wish I had more confidence in all of those areas and more.  I’ve wondered why I didn’t have more and I’ve wondered what my life would look like if I did have it.  I’ve played the “if onlys” over and over in my mind.

Finally, after tiring of seeing little change, I decided it was time to get out there and start doing things.  I realized that things weren’t going to change on their own.  One of the areas I looked at was my job.  Although there were many things I enjoyed about my job, I didn’t really feel passionate about it any more and felt like there was another direction I’d like to go.  One day I just took the afternoon off and went out looking for office space in the community.  As luck would have it, I found a perfect space that I could afford.  Then I joined the Chamber and before I opened my doors, I had my first official client call to schedule an appointment.  Things just grew from there. 

I realized that every time I took a risk, I gained confidence!  And not just in the area I took the risk (for example, my job) but in every area of my life.  Even though I’ve heard for most of my life that practice will do that for you, this was different for me.  It wasn’t really practicing as much as just going outside of my comfort zone to achieve the things I want. 

Rhonda Britten, author, calls this stretch, risk or die.  Imagine a bullseye and the middle of it is your comfort zone.  The next ring out is the stretch zone, the next one is the risk zone, and the furthest one out is the die zone.  Stretching is something you’ve been avoiding but isn’t really that hard to do.  The risk zone is when you doing something that is scary for you and if you do it; it will probably change your life.  The die zone is where you do something that is so scary, you feel like a part of you is going to die.   As you visit the outer edges of your bullseye, you will be able watch your life change before your very eyes.   

I invite you to take a look at an area of your life you’d really like to change.  Come up with two stretches, two risks, and a die.  Start with the stretches and go through each item on your list.  As you do, acknowledge each one proudly, no matter how small it may seem.  Each time it will get easier and easier and you will feel your confidence begin to grow. 

To have the life you desire you must move out of your comfort zone and into the stretch, risk, AND die zones.  Know that you are worth it!  Today’s your day!  Make it count!

1. I’m 42 but most people think I’m much younger and are very surprised to find out I have a 22 year old daughter.

2. My favorite food is the tomato. There’s nothing like a tomato that’s fully ripe and full of juice, so much juice that you have to eat it over the sink so you don’t get it all over your clothes but it still gets all over your face. I used to sometimes eat them with sugar but now I always eat them with Krazy Salt.

3. One of my favorite songs growing up was Mercedes Benz by Janice Joplin because my dream car was a Mercedes. I thought I would know I was successful when I had one.

4. I now know a car is no measure of success. My measures of success include making a difference for someone every day, knowing that I’m on the right path because I’m doing what I love and having fun, and being able to comfortably financially support my family.

5. I really miss my Bonneville. While I love my iPod hook up, my Bonneville had it all and the way her seats hugged me and made me feel so cozy and welcome every time I climbed in – nothing has compared.

6. I am proud of the fact that I had the courage to leave my secure job with a good paycheck to pursue my dream.

7. Even though my grandma has been gone for almost 30 years, I still miss her.

8. One of my all time favorite shows is Charmed because I want kick a** powers like they have. Wouldn’t it be cool to be able to orb from one place to the next? Blow up things with your hands? Stare hard at something and move it?

9. One of my other all time favorite shows is I Dream of Jeannie because I wanted to be her. I didn’t want to live in a bottle or have a master or where that funny outfit but I really wanted to be able to cross my arms, blink and get whatever I wanted.

10. Part of me believes that I can cross my arms, blink and get whatever I wanted.

11. I know I’m here to connect with others but that scares me at times because it feels so vulnerable.

12. I don’t like to be vulnerable because that’s how we get hurt. I’ve had enough hurt in my life.

13. I know I can’t truly give or receive love unless I’m choosing to be vulnerable. What a vicious circle.

14. I’m willing to be vulnerable.

15. My cat’s name is Shanti. It means peace in Sanskrit. Peace is what I crave in life. That and connection with others.

16. I also crave real conversations. I want to talk about who you are, what you love, what causes you pain, what your dreams are…the real you.

17. My dream vacation is a trip to Greece. I want a vacation. Right now, any place will do – preferably something warm.

18. My husband puts up with a lot and is very kind and funny. My daughter Amanda is strong and courageous. My daughter Kayla is empathic and social. My brother is one of the most generous people I know. My mom is also one of the most generous people I know. I love my family.

19. I have many great people in my life. I am grateful for each and every one of them. I am who I am because of everyone around me.

20. I don’t like surprises. I think it has something to do with control. Not that I’m saying I have a problem with control. OK, sometimes I kind of do.

21. I wish I knew what my pets were thinking about all the time. I wonder if they feel the same way about me.

22. I love 70s music. It feeds my soul.

23. I love to be pampered. I love my feet being rubbed. I love massages. I love going out to a decent restaurant and having someone serve me. I think we all deserve to be pampered once in a while.

24. I love technology. I love gadgets. I love the internet. Google is one of my best friends.

25. I’m ready to be who I really am and to let others see all of me.
I think learning random things about people is fun. I’d love to hear some random things about you.