How do you network?  What organizations are you a part of that you enjoy?  I’d love to hear about them.

I’ve always thought relationships ebb and flow.  She and I had many conversations about that, in fact.  For someone after 10 years of friendship and after all we’d been through to treat me the way she treated me brought me a lot of pain.  I knew that her actions were more about where she was at in her life than they were about me but it still really hurt me.

For the past year and a half, I have gone through a lot of emotions around this.  Most of the time I feel blessed and at peace because I see the gifts in it.  We aren’t in the same place in our lives any more and relationships often shift when that happens.  They need to shift so we can continue to move along our desired path at the rate we are ready to move.  There have also been times when I have cried about how much it hurt to be rejected that way.  It felt so good to get those emotions out and acknowledge them.

Because of all these things that have been happening around me which relate both to the last job I had and my past friend, I found myself thinking about it all again.  There was pain for me in my last job for a lot of reasons and I don’t feel that pain so much any more and see all the gifts it brought to me but I’ve been gone from there for 2 and 1/2 years.  Interestingly, it was actually around the time the pain started to go away for me that the friendship ended.

So after much reflection and a conversation with a dear friend, I decided to ask the question on Facebook.  Do we ever fully stop feeling the pain a situation can bring and just become content with the gifts?  I was touched and amazed at the stories shared there of loss, of suffering, of hurt and how they moved on from it.  I think we probably all have a story about a time we were hurt and the question is, how much does it affect your life today?  How have you chosen to move forward (or have you moved forward)?

Even though I still feel the pain sometimes, I have moved forward.  I have a full life with great friends that support me.  I am more compassionate because of my personal pain.  My family is closer and I get to do what I love every day.  This I can be grateful for.

Thank you to all of you who shared their stories.  What a great group of strong individuals we all our:)

I remember thinking things like “what a waste of time”, “I’m so glad I don’t spend my time like that”, and “I’ve got better things to do”.  I was so proud of myself for staying strong, even when I saw all the posts on my wall.  People looking for new loot in Mafia Wars, people cooking new recipes in Restaurant City, people moving up levels in Petville and people needing friends in Happy Aquarium.   Then it happened…

I broke down.  I just want to check it out, I told myself.  I just want to see what all the hype is about.  It’s no big deal.  One look or two, I can walk away.  I’m strong and I’m really busy so I know I it won’t be a problem.  It started innocently enough.  I built a little restaurant in Restaurant City, my first drug of choice.  I decorated it, came up with a creative name and it felt so personal.  I was like a proud mom.  It was mine, all mine.  All I had to do now was come up with better food so people would want to eat at my restaurant.

I watched it grow and grow.  Soon I could plant a garden and nurture that.  I could buy and trade the food items I needed and I could decorate and redecorate any way I wanted.  After all, I was a successful restaurant owner – one of the most successful in my neighborhood.  After a while, my interest dwindled.  There weren’t as many recipes I wanted to develop and the people who came, they just left messes for me to clean up and I was tired.  My employees, if left unsupervised for long would stop working and take naps on the floor.  The bathroom was never clean enough.  It’s hard work running a restaurant, you know.

So I moved on and gave some other games a chance.  I didn’t want any of them to feel left out and I had all these gifts from my friends.  It felt so rude to not accept the gifts, so I just had to do it.  I tried Petville.  Dressed my pet up nice and cute.  Didn’t like having to visit other places, it was kind of a pain.  I tried some aquarium game but couldn’t keep my tank clean.  I tried some other pet game but my pet went to the pound when didn’t check on them enough because they were hungry.  I tried YoVille and didn’t get it.  I tried Farmville and my crops kept dying.  Then I found Cafe World.  Ahhh, another restaurant game.   My workers did what they were there to do.  They never let me down.  The recipes were easier to keep track of.  I was in heaven.  I fought long and hard to have the best restaurant in the neighborhood and then once I had that status, I fought to keep it.  Then I wondered why.

Then I found Country Life.  Such cute animals and for some reason the crops were easier to maintain.  I could even make it rain and watch my crops mature faster.  I was, once again, in heaven. Or was it hell?

You see, like many others, my addictions to these games runs deep.  Why?  I’m not sure.  It might be the mindlessness of it all.  An opportunity to escape?  Perhaps.  The bottom line, I got sucked in like everyone else does. It’d be easy to blame Facebook and on the companies and individuals who create apps for them (I am in awe over their creativity and drive).  It’d be easy to blame those who sent me gifts I just couldn’t resist but I know in the end it was me, just me.   But today, I’m taking back control of my life.  From here on out, I vow to stick to the occasional game I can play for little while and conquer – rather than the never ending, mindless clicking of the games on Facebook that goes on forever and ever.  I realize that my life is so much better without these games and, to play occasionally is not a big deal.  To begin to set my schedule based on when my food will be ready to serve, not ok.  Funny, but not ok.

So if I’ve shared a neighborhood with you, you will be missed but hopefully we can connect in other ways – the ways I wanted in the first place.  If you send me a gift, please don’t take it personally when I don’t accept it.  Today, my life is mine once again.  I’ve got great things to do and it’s time to get busy once again.

Happy holidays to all!  If you want to join my club, feel free.  Perhaps we can start a new neighborhood somewhere…

I used to think I wanted to shut it off until someone asked me one day during a healing session if that’s what I really wanted.  It only took a second for me to realize I didn’t.  I LOVE all the ideas that come to me.  I LOVE learning.  I LOVE it all!  I’m so grateful she asked me that or I may have spent the rest of my life trying to shut it off.

So, where am I at today?  Where am I not would probably be a quicker answer but I’ll give you just the highlights and try to keep it short.

Tomorrow I start school.  I can’t wait.  Every couple of hours here at home today I pop my head around the corner and asking my family if they know what tomorrow is.  They say no or Monday and then I say, “It’s a school day!”  Can you tell how excited I am?!  First on my agenda?  Learning all about color theory.  Well, second.  First I tested out of one of my classes because I felt I knew most of what the class would cover.  They said I was the first one to try testing out of this class and pass!  Yeah me!

Many of you know I spent 15 years in parks and rec.  I left in part because I really wanted to be able to offer programs and services that I am passionate about.  Not ones that someone else told me I had to offer.  Now I’m doing that.  The other thing I loved doing for parks and rec was marketing and graphic design.  That’s what I’m going back to school for!  I know I have some skills and I could gain more on the internet or in an occasional class here or there but I really want structure – the most missed component of having a 9 to 5 job.   It’s great to be able to work in my pjs on the couch and to decide when to schedule things and I still crave some structure.

It will also create a network of people who are passionate about the same thing for me.  I have this for the other aspects of who I am but not so much for people who love designing.  I am also really excited to be the student here and connect with other students too!

The theme here?  I saw that I wanted/needed something and I figured out how to make it happen and I did it!

What is it that you want?

What are you willing to do to make it happen?

When you see a roadblock/obstacle, what do you do?  Do you give up or find a way to go around it?

I’d love to hear from you…please leave a comment!

Have you ever felt down after chatting with a friend or coworker? You may have felt fine before the conversation, but now, after hearing them complain about the weather, the economy, and a demanding neighbor or mother-in-law, you’re starting to feel kind of cranky yourself, as if their negativity were somehow contagious.

Actually, you can catch a negative (or positive) attitude from the people around you. According to the well-known psychiatrist and energy guru Dr. Judith Orloff, who wrote the bestseller Positive Energy, our bodies are made of flesh and blood, but they’re also composed of energy fields. Negative energy like fear, anger, and hopelessness drags us down and drain our energy, but positive energy, like compassion, courage, and forgiveness, improves our mood and our well-being.

The law of attraction states that people either sense our positive energy and gravitate towards us, or they feel our negative energy and shy away from us. Those around us influence how we feel and can even impact the direction our lives take. Positive people can improve your life, while negative people (also called “energy vampires”) just drag you down.

* “Energy vampires” suck the life out of you. Spending time with people who constantly complain or make negative remarks only makes us feel listless and despondent. These “energy vampires” tell us we’ll never get our business off the ground or that our dreams are unrealistic (possibly because they can’t bear to see others succeed where they have failed). Spend too much time with a complainer and you’ll start to believe what they tell you.

* Positive people energize you. The more time you spend surrounded by positive people, the more you’ll internalize their cheerful, upbeat attitude and start spreading it around. Positive people make your goals seem attainable and give you a boost of energy when you need it. They don’t dwell on small setbacks or waste time complaining about things that are within their power to change. With an open heart, an open mind, and a willingness to try new things, they can handle virtually anything.

While we sometimes have to deal with negative coworkers or relatives, it’s up to us to choose the other people in our lives. Ask yourself how you feel after spending time with someone. Do you feel energized and inspired? Or does lunch with a certain “friend” leave you feeling restless and unfulfilled?

If the latter, then it’s time to develop friendships with people who support your goals and spread positive energy. These people will provide wisdom in times of trouble and inspire you to reach greater heights in moments on self-doubt. Seek our people and organizations that promote action and service to the community, because there is nothing more uplifting than helping others.

As you spend more time with positive people and distance yourself from negative ones, you’ll feel your spirits lift and your goals coming into focus. You, in turn, will become a more positive person – someone others want to spend their time with.

© 2009 Ali International, LLC

Self-made multimillionaire entrepreneur Ali Brown is devoted to creating financial freedom for women globally through the power of entrepreneurship. To learn how to create wealth and live an extraordinary life now, register for her free weekly articles at www.AliBrown.com

I was pulling out of my garage and, as I looked around the space, I thought “wow, there’s a lot of crap in here that needs to be thrown out!”  It’s just stuff that hasn’t been touched or looked at in years.  I have closets that look like that too:)  I also wondered what kind of treasures I might find.  Things I’d forgotten I had because they’d been tucked away and out of site. 

I have also noticed of late that I have some past relationships surfacing.  People I haven’t heard from in years.  Others have shared with me similar experiences.  So why the reconnecting after so many years have passed?  That was a bit of a tangent, but not really, more of a segue. 

I think its like the stuff in my garage.  If I took a look at it all, there are probably some things that need to be released and there are probably some treasures in there as well…things I’d forgotten about but might actually serve me quite well in my life now.

One of the people who has surfaced is someone who I think of very fondly.  My greatest memories are of us staying up all night talking about everything under the sun.  Our hopes, dreams, disappointments, desires, everything.  

When I shared this with others, I find a common theme emerging.  Most don’t have relationships like this.  Not with their friends, family, significant others.  We just don’t tend to open up and share at that level on a regular basis.  We tend to talk about the weather, our jobs, our families…the roles we play in life but not really about who we are at our core. 

I remember someone telling me they were at a Carolyn Myss workshop and she had them all talk to each other and the ground rules were that they could only talk about who they really are inside, not the roles they play, not small talk and the room was silent.  People were at a loss as to what to share with each other.   At first I found that shocking but then realized that I understood…related to what they all experienced.

Why is it so hard to be vulnerable?  To share with others what matters to us.  Aren’t we most vulnerable when we keep it all inside?  When we hang on to all our little secrets?  Worried that others will discover them?  Why don’t we talk about our dreams more?  What we are passionate about?

Have you ever watched someone share something they are passionate about?  I love watching their eyes light up and they seem to get a little taller and a smile creeps across their face.  They become more animated. 

As we begin to share, we begin to realize that we are all the same in so many ways.  Different life experiences perhaps but many of us have the same challenges, the same disappointments, same hopes, same dreams when we look below the surface.   That’s where the connection lies. 

It’s time to share from our hearts.  What do you dream about?  What do you hope for yourself?  For others?  For the world?  What disappoints you?  How have you been disappointed in your life?  What makes your heart sing? 

Share with someone today…create a connection.

1. I’m 42 but most people think I’m much younger and are very surprised to find out I have a 22 year old daughter.

2. My favorite food is the tomato. There’s nothing like a tomato that’s fully ripe and full of juice, so much juice that you have to eat it over the sink so you don’t get it all over your clothes but it still gets all over your face. I used to sometimes eat them with sugar but now I always eat them with Krazy Salt.

3. One of my favorite songs growing up was Mercedes Benz by Janice Joplin because my dream car was a Mercedes. I thought I would know I was successful when I had one.

4. I now know a car is no measure of success. My measures of success include making a difference for someone every day, knowing that I’m on the right path because I’m doing what I love and having fun, and being able to comfortably financially support my family.

5. I really miss my Bonneville. While I love my iPod hook up, my Bonneville had it all and the way her seats hugged me and made me feel so cozy and welcome every time I climbed in – nothing has compared.

6. I am proud of the fact that I had the courage to leave my secure job with a good paycheck to pursue my dream.

7. Even though my grandma has been gone for almost 30 years, I still miss her.

8. One of my all time favorite shows is Charmed because I want kick a** powers like they have. Wouldn’t it be cool to be able to orb from one place to the next? Blow up things with your hands? Stare hard at something and move it?

9. One of my other all time favorite shows is I Dream of Jeannie because I wanted to be her. I didn’t want to live in a bottle or have a master or where that funny outfit but I really wanted to be able to cross my arms, blink and get whatever I wanted.

10. Part of me believes that I can cross my arms, blink and get whatever I wanted.

11. I know I’m here to connect with others but that scares me at times because it feels so vulnerable.

12. I don’t like to be vulnerable because that’s how we get hurt. I’ve had enough hurt in my life.

13. I know I can’t truly give or receive love unless I’m choosing to be vulnerable. What a vicious circle.

14. I’m willing to be vulnerable.

15. My cat’s name is Shanti. It means peace in Sanskrit. Peace is what I crave in life. That and connection with others.

16. I also crave real conversations. I want to talk about who you are, what you love, what causes you pain, what your dreams are…the real you.

17. My dream vacation is a trip to Greece. I want a vacation. Right now, any place will do – preferably something warm.

18. My husband puts up with a lot and is very kind and funny. My daughter Amanda is strong and courageous. My daughter Kayla is empathic and social. My brother is one of the most generous people I know. My mom is also one of the most generous people I know. I love my family.

19. I have many great people in my life. I am grateful for each and every one of them. I am who I am because of everyone around me.

20. I don’t like surprises. I think it has something to do with control. Not that I’m saying I have a problem with control. OK, sometimes I kind of do.

21. I wish I knew what my pets were thinking about all the time. I wonder if they feel the same way about me.

22. I love 70s music. It feeds my soul.

23. I love to be pampered. I love my feet being rubbed. I love massages. I love going out to a decent restaurant and having someone serve me. I think we all deserve to be pampered once in a while.

24. I love technology. I love gadgets. I love the internet. Google is one of my best friends.

25. I’m ready to be who I really am and to let others see all of me.
I think learning random things about people is fun. I’d love to hear some random things about you.