The Navigator

Yesterday, I found myself reflecting on particularly one past experience that was on the top of my mind because of some other things going on around me.  A year and a half ago, a very good friend just cut me out of her life quite abruptly and was extremely angry with me but wouldn’t tell me why.  We weren’t as close at that point as we once had been and I was ok with the friendship not being there at that point and yet still really hurt by how she did what she did.

I’ve always thought relationships ebb and flow.  She and I had many conversations about that, in fact.  For someone after 10 years of friendship and after all we’d been through to treat me the way she treated me brought me a lot of pain.  I knew that her actions were more about where she was at in her life than they were about me but it still really hurt me.

For the past year and a half, I have gone through a lot of emotions around this.  Most of the time I feel blessed and at peace because I see the gifts in it.  We aren’t in the same place in our lives any more and relationships often shift when that happens.  They need to shift so we can continue to move along our desired path at the rate we are ready to move.  There have also been times when I have cried about how much it hurt to be rejected that way.  It felt so good to get those emotions out and acknowledge them.

Because of all these things that have been happening around me which relate both to the last job I had and my past friend, I found myself thinking about it all again.  There was pain for me in my last job for a lot of reasons and I don’t feel that pain so much any more and see all the gifts it brought to me but I’ve been gone from there for 2 and 1/2 years.  Interestingly, it was actually around the time the pain started to go away for me that the friendship ended.

So after much reflection and a conversation with a dear friend, I decided to ask the question on Facebook.  Do we ever fully stop feeling the pain a situation can bring and just become content with the gifts?  I was touched and amazed at the stories shared there of loss, of suffering, of hurt and how they moved on from it.  I think we probably all have a story about a time we were hurt and the question is, how much does it affect your life today?  How have you chosen to move forward (or have you moved forward)?

Even though I still feel the pain sometimes, I have moved forward.  I have a full life with great friends that support me.  I am more compassionate because of my personal pain.  My family is closer and I get to do what I love every day.  This I can be grateful for.

Thank you to all of you who shared their stories.  What a great group of strong individuals we all our:)