The Navigator

First published by Essential Wellness in 2004.

I have struggled all my life with a feeling that something was missing. I could never quite put my finger on why or what it was, I just knew that something wasn’t right. I spent many years being angry with others for things I felt were wrong in my life and trying to run from the pain inside. I took this anger out in a variety of ways, none of them healthy or productive. In general, I wasn’t a happy person.

Over the past few years, I decided it was time to do some soul searching and I sought out ways to improve my life as well as my outlook. I explored many avenues of learning. I tried yoga and started meditating. I explored psychic development and tried to live my life more intuitively. I also explored a variety of alternative healing methods. What I discovered was a common denominator in all of these paths – compassion for all, including ourselves.

All the peace and happiness on this earth and in my being can be summed up in one word – compassion.

As we travel on this journey, we tend to look around us in every direction possible searching for the answer when in fact the answer lies within us. Life takes on a whole new meaning when we realize that our entire purpose here on this earth is to develop compassion for all.

Wanting others to be free of suffering is the definition of compassion. Each and every day becomes more meaningful when we fill it with a kind heart, less selfishness, and an attitude of service to others.

Through my own journey, I struggle with this every day. Being a spiritual being in a human body is truly the most difficult task to master.

When I am at work and at home, I am forever put in situations that challenge my ability to have compassion for all. As hard as I try, it seems like something always comes up that I struggle with. This has been a source of frustration for me. I couldn’t figure out why this was so hard. The concept is so basic, I thought, so why can’t I do it? I came to the conclusion that I don’t think perfection means being able to have complete compassion for all in every situation; after all, we are human and have human emotions to cope with. The perfection is in our intention to do it as much as possible and to keep it in the forefront of our minds at all times. In doing so, our ability to have complete compassion grows and we are able to truly feel this way more and more of the time.

Here are some of the ways that have helped me in my quest to have compassion for all:

1. Realize we all come from the same energy.  We are all connected in some way. In Dr. Wayne Dyer’s tape set entitled, The Road is Never Crowded along the Extra Mile; he shares a saying from the Native Americans that says no tree has branches as foolish as to fight amongst themselves. We are all as connected as the branches on a tree and should treat each other as such.

2. Forgive someone from the past.  Through our connectedness, we become angry or resentful towards someone for something they have done or said. We are the only ones who suffer when this happens. Being resentful or angry is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. It will eat at you as long and as much as you let it. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you dismiss what they did or said. It simply means, you don’t allow it to affect you in a negative way. Letting go can have a liberating effect on our hearts and souls.

3. Put yourself in their shoes.  When you start to feel angry with someone, put yourself in their shoes. Picture them as a small child. Think about what they have experienced and how those experiences have affected them.  The experiences we’ve had in our lives make us the person that we are today.

4. Be in service to others.  Put yourself in a position to be of service to others. When you live your life thinking in terms of “How can I be of service to this person?”, it softens your heart.

5. Practice living with an open heart.  Lead with your heart in everything you say and do, realizing that along the way there will be many who will not be receptive to this way of thinking and that’s ok. Remember, you can’t control what others do or how they feel. Living your life in this manner will bring a great tenderness into your being that will flow into everything you do and others will notice.

6. Lastly, when faced with a challenging situation, keep repeating “love and compassion” in your mind.  Whenever I am struggling with something, I repeat “love and compassion” in my mind over and over again. This helps me remain calm and focused and to remember what our purpose here on earth is.

Arthur H. Stainback said, “The value of compassion cannot be overemphasized. Anyone can criticize.  It takes a true believer to be compassionate. No greater burden can be borne by an individual than to know that no one cares or understands.” It’s time for us to do our part to make sure that everyone feels as if someone cares. It’s time for us to stand up and, in the words of Gandhi, “Be the change we want tosee in the world.”

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